Inner Voice

Have you ever wanted to set out to do something so bad that you just pushed yourself to the brink sometimes?    That is my weight loss.  I want more than anything to be finished with the weight loss journey so I can get on with the next part of my journey, and focus on just being an active woman.
Yet my struggles today still, are the same struggles from when I started.    We each have those inner voices.  The strong and courageous one that says you can set out to do anything, and make it happen.  We also have that other inner voice that robs our spirit, and constantly states,  I can’t do it anymore,  I want to quit, I want to give up.   Perhaps you are like some that have that negative voice that also says, I’m not worth it.    My journey the last four years has been about controlling that negative voice. Turning it off, and listening to the courageous inner voice.
It sounds like a simple plan, but it has been the hardest part of my journey.  Surrounding myself with the “right” people has been such a blessing.  For each person I hold close are those people who mirror that positive inner voice and push me. I have been open about my life and my story, and it has brought me the most incredible people into my life.    Today, that inner voice is loud.
I have been hanging out with my friend “LA” for a few months now.  He knows my story, my challenges, and even the fact that the negative voice held me in darkness for a long time.  Yesterday he and I set out on a hike.  It was the most challenging hike I have been on.  Yes, even more challenging then my failed attempt at Bierstadt (a 14k foot peak in Colorado).  The hike was only 5 miles round trip, but it was up hill.  In my head I started to hear the excuses, my foot, my knees, my conditioning for cardio because of the injuries, and I just can’t do it.  I was slow, because I kept panicing, and getting my heart rate up.  My heart felt like it was in my throat.  I wanted so much to give up.     I kept moving forward telling “LA” that I wouldn’t quit. I wouldn’t give in.  I am fighting myself that was my biggest struggle.  I was sore, my knees were holding up alright.  But, my spirit-that couragious voice was failing me. I started to panic again.
“LA”-He stopped, and waited for me.  Hollaring down, just 100 yards up. Just 20 yards. Set goals, take aim, walk and keep moving.  He wouldn’t let me give in.  I would sit down, and he would push.   I would falter, and he would be concerned, yet he wouldn’t help.  He knew this was my struggle. This was me, not against a mountain.  This was me against this darkness that held me down so long.     I walked over a ridge to see “LA” and his dog at the summit, over looking Longs Peak (a goal of mine).  I wanted to cry, but all I could do was smile.      Now the trek downhill wasn’t easy (because it was at a pretty serious grade).  I am sore today.  But, my spirit?? Wow, is the voice loud.  I can do anything I set out my mind to do.  I have worked hard to get stronger, and *I* am strong.  I can rely on the people I have surrounded myself with to be there for me when I am at my worst.  Most importantly, no mountain is too high for this Lady.  Weight loss is nothing compared to the hills I will climb.  But *I* know I will climb them all with a smile on my face.
I am truly blessed!
Let me know if you have any questions about my journey and my goals.  I’m brutally honest with what I have done to lose weight, exercise, and even my struggles! Let me know how I can help you!
Sitting at the top.

I made it-Slowly, but I got there-Thanks "LA"!

Choices and Forgiveness–It is all your Choice!

Wow what a difference 3 years makes. 300 pounds down, and I am still losing weight. Sometimes I am angry that I am not done yet. Other times I am awe inspired by my journey. Then again, I just get tired too.

So what does weight loss come down too? Choices. You know in life we are born with the ability to learn. Part of that is learning the choices that we make are good and bad for us. How did I get to be 589 pounds? Because the choices I made for myself were typically the bad choices in regard to food and exercise/activity.

So how do you change? You have to change your mind set and realize that you, yourself are making the choices that effect your life every day. You yourself have the power of influence to change your lifestyle. What if you thought of those bad choices as the ultimate deception of your spirit. The ultimate deception of the person who you want to be tomorrow?

Truly what clicked for me was, I am accountable to the person I want to be tomorrow today. Every choice I make, effects the person I want to be tomorrow today. That was my quote when I lost 100 pounds and I started to think now what? I worried that I would revert back–That quote came to me. I’ve been living by it since. How amazing is it that I control the ultimate outcome to my story?

People wonder if it is as simple as that? YES it is. But, the other key to weight loss or making any change in your life, you must remember that people are fallible.  We make mistakes.. In fact we are apt to make bad choices. What happens when you make those bad choices? In the past if I ate a cookie, had a pizza, or missed a work out. I would say, oh well–I messed up so I can mess up all day long. I’ll get back on track tomorrow.

When tomorrow came, well… I guess I can start tomorrow…. Those are MORE bad choices. What if….. In one instance you ate that cookie… You know that oatmeal, cinnamon, buttery goodness of a cookie, that is bigger then your hand… What if you ate that? Then said.. Wow, I know that was a bad choice.. I forgive myself for this instance and *I* OWE myself more good days and more good choices than bad. What happens??

Rather then making excuses… Acknowledging the bad choice and forgiving yourself. This gets you back on track immediately. You accept you ate the wrong thing. You work harder to not do the same thing again.

Can weight loss be this simple? CAN you truly find solace in forgiving, acceptance, and moving forward? I simply say this…. It is your *choice* to try!

YOU CAN do it!!! I CAN do it!!! Stay healthy everyone!


Frequently Asked Questions

Hi all–

SO, I have 10k+ emails in my email box and in my Facebook account.  I can’t possibly answer every email, and for that I do apologize.  I’m going to do my best to answer questions on this blog. If I miss something-Please comment on the blog!

What diet did you use? 

Well I hate to tell you this–THERE IS NO MAGIC BULLET… There is no easy prescription. There is no easy road. There *IS* no diet. I started eating less then 2k calories. The last year I have been focused on the quality of those calories. I eat brown rice, egg whites, chicken mostly, turkey, lots of veggies, complex carbs (potatoes, whole wheat breads), fruits, and oatmeal.  I *CAN* eat anything……….Within reason! (Which means within the calorie count).  Every year I have learned more and more about the quality of the calories I intake.  I am learning about the importance of clean foods now.  As I get better and stronger, I continue to tweak how I eat.  BUT again—NO diet!!! Diets don’t work!!!!

When you started how often did you work out then? 

At 589 pounds walking was painful–Did I immediately hit the gym hit weights and work out? No… I worked out alone and didn’t want to work with a trainer then.  So I joined the gym.  Bought a swim shorts, and shirt.. I bought swim shoes. I would go to the pool an hour a day every day and just walk.   Back and forth. I hate the pool now by the way. I hate being trapped indoors now.

When did I start walking outside?

I started about 9 to 10 months after walking in the pool.  I felt strong enough at that point.  However my back and legs were not ready.  I’d walk a park that had a loop. Thank goodness benches around it as well.  I’d walk 50 to 100 yards at a time. Than sit and rest. I went back everyday.  Seven days a week walking the park alone. Yep……. Alone! You have to realize you can not count on someone being there.  You have to count on YOURSELF!

Why did I hire a trainer?

I hurt my knee doing a 5k. I ended up in physical therapy for the knee injury.  Worked through it, but didn’t trust my knee or feel good about my knee.  My Physical Therapist told me to hire a trainer.  For every exercise she gave me, I accomplished more than she asked me too.  She said being as competitive as you are, and how hard you work for perfection—–HIRE A TRAINER!

How much is a trainer?

Depends–SHOP AROUND!!  I interviewed 7 trainers before going with Matt Ellison at 24 Hour Fitness in Broomfield, Colorado.  I buy packages of sessions.  I believe it is a bit over $57 a session for my trainer. (I really budget it in and just pay it… He is worth every penny and I find a way to pay it). Some outside trainers cost far less, some more.  I stand by the fact that no matter the cost, you need to hire the trainer that fits your personality.  Matt is the best trainer for me and has been a blessing to my life.  I can never repay him for his kindness and friendship.  Yes, I do realize I pay him to be there. But, I don’t pay him to really be a true friend.  Yet I count him as one.

Alright–That is my first set of FAQ’s.. I will continue to post them!! I hope these help. I’ll also post some of my favorite snacks AND those snacks I count on when I am craving bad foods.


Straight Talk About Weight Loss

I’m excited to share with you my story and journey.  I started out on a journey 3 years ago to lose weight. At the time I weighed 589 pounds.  I’ve since lost 300 pounds in 3 years. I’m in my 4th year of my journey, and am hopeful that I will reach my goal this year! I have been featured on the local news stations in Denver, as well as on Good Morning America.


This blog will be dedicated to those who wish to learn about my story.  I will update my progress, what I am doing, and how I am continuing to make my lifestyle change to keep the weight off and to stay healthy. I will answer your questions as well.  Thank you for your interest in my journey.  It has been an amazing few years and I can truly say it is a blessing to have my life back!