Am I? Or am I not shrinking?

Weight loss is—Important–

Weight loss is—Essential to live the life I want to live–

Weight loss is—The hardest thing I have done in my life–

Weight loss is FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!

I am 3 years into a journey that has taken me to new highs and new lows.  It pushes me to want to finish strong, yet finishing strong just seems so hard.  I am on track, I am working out, I am walking, and eating right more often than not.  So why is it so hard to see progress?

In weight loss you are focused on numbers.  Initially I weighed myself every other day. I measured myself every week.  I was so big.  I could never really see the changes.  It gets frustrating because you want to be done, you want to be seen for who you are becoming.  It took me 2 years to be able to see that I didn’t look like my original photo.  The games your mind plays on you.

I actually stopped weighing myself and just went to inches.  It is cool to say I used to be 72 inches around..(I was as wide as I am tall).  Now I am 49 inches at my widest.  I went to measuring because when you work out and give it all you have and either stay stagnant or only lose a pound it upsets you.  However, when you see you’ve lost a half an inch, well… THAT is a big deal!  I also started to take a facial picture every week.  I can scroll through those to see changes.  It gives me hope that I can and will get to and reach my goal.

So what is next for me? Patience.  I have to keep doing what I am doing. I can’t feel pushed to finish or pulled back into bad habits. I need to keep working towards finishing my goals.   I noticed in the last few days my thoughts constantly going to I just want to be done.  I don’t see enough change, I don’t see enough progress, I want more.. This morning I had to really refocus.  This is not about quick, this is not about short cuts, this is about losing a LOT of weight in a safe manner.  This is about losing a LOT of weight in a way that my body lets me.  I am not a victim of slow weight loss, I am at fault for allowing myself to get so big.  It will take time for me to turn around the damage that I did to myself. Do I always have patience? No I have every reason to want it to hurry up.  But in reality I am trapped in what my body will give me. Though—–I am learning patience and have been for 4 years.  I just wish I didn’t have to be so patient sometimes. <Laughing>

I wanted to mention an email I received from Derek in Canada.  He contacted me about what it will take to turn his life around.  I emailed him back, and was encouraged by his response.  He had a day off and felt so good about wanting to change he cleaned up his house.  You know, weight loss is also about caring about yourself again.  Caring about how you look, caring about your outward appearance and how people see you.  The more I lose, the more I notice I want my clothes to fit better, I want my hair to look better, I want to show off the work I am doing.  Derek, keep working on yourself. I know you can and will achieve your goals with time and patience!! Work on your own N.E.W.S.T.A.R.T.!

So–Am I shrinking? Is there a difference?? Am I doing it fast enough? Soon enough? Is it worth it?  You be my judge.

Me Now

589 Pounds

7 thoughts on “Am I? Or am I not shrinking?

  1. Sweetie…OMG…I actually got choked up looking at your “new” picture of the “new” you!! Of course, it isn’t a new you at all but the same incredibly beautiful woman who is revealing herself to the world in a new way. But what i am seeing is the inner beauty being revealed in the outer beauty…and boy, what a beauty you are!!!! Keep up the good work because people like me, who are cheering you on from a distance, are completely bowled away from the change I just saw and am oh, so excited to see what next week brings!!! Love you lots, sweetie!!!! <3<3<3

    • Jenn!!! Love you too sister. I am learning to be the woman I should have always been. I have weight to lose, skin issues to address, and figuring out how to dress and highlight what is beautiful about me. I am learning. It isn’t an easy road now, but it is much easier. 🙂

      Thank you for always supporting and encouraging me. You know, for a 3Day walker I’ve never met, I sure have so much love and respect for you! Stay wonderful my friend!!
      Shannon

  2. Huge (no pun intended) difference. Just play the age guessing game –
    in the old pic – it’s how old is she in a bad way (is that a very large 18-year old or a large granny with dyed hair?).
    New pic is a a guessing game too, but in a good way (I had to go back to your old article links to figure it out).

    • LOL J… The old picture I would have been 35. Now I am 39. But, you are right. Everyone says I look SOOOO much younger. I have a glow about me.. Most importantly, I’ve been called hot, sexy, and cute… I went from never getting hit on. To getting phone numbers handed to me. I know I am not done, I am not perfect. I have some things to address. It is wonderful to say that life improves daily. 🙂

  3. Shannon – I understand about patience. I feel the same way – I have to remind myself that I didn’t get big overnight. It’s not coming off overnight. But you’re doing fabulous and the photos are the proof!!!! You’re definitely not INVISIBLE now!!! Keep at it – as slow as it goes – this is a lifestyle change and your new life. You go grrl……

  4. You’re really looking great Shannon. Hang in there. I guess the changes are less obvious as you get closer to your goal weight.

    I always find it hard when I’ve lost a lot of weight. I feel quite proud and very chuffed with myself, but then I realise others (who don’t know I’ve lost a lot of weight) would just look at me and judge me. I guess it’s times like that we need to remember IT’S ABOUT US!

    Deb

    • Thanks so much Deb!! Life is good now and really… I struggle with judgement. BUT—-I also see the sunlight. 🙂 The good news…. I will NEVER live my life judging others as I have been. 🙂 God is good.. A wonderful lesson to come out of the darkness.

      Shannon

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