Weight loss is—Important–
Weight loss is—Essential to live the life I want to live–
Weight loss is—The hardest thing I have done in my life–
Weight loss is FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!
I am 3 years into a journey that has taken me to new highs and new lows. It pushes me to want to finish strong, yet finishing strong just seems so hard. I am on track, I am working out, I am walking, and eating right more often than not. So why is it so hard to see progress?
In weight loss you are focused on numbers. Initially I weighed myself every other day. I measured myself every week. I was so big. I could never really see the changes. It gets frustrating because you want to be done, you want to be seen for who you are becoming. It took me 2 years to be able to see that I didn’t look like my original photo. The games your mind plays on you.
I actually stopped weighing myself and just went to inches. It is cool to say I used to be 72 inches around..(I was as wide as I am tall). Now I am 49 inches at my widest. I went to measuring because when you work out and give it all you have and either stay stagnant or only lose a pound it upsets you. However, when you see you’ve lost a half an inch, well… THAT is a big deal! I also started to take a facial picture every week. I can scroll through those to see changes. It gives me hope that I can and will get to and reach my goal.
So what is next for me? Patience. I have to keep doing what I am doing. I can’t feel pushed to finish or pulled back into bad habits. I need to keep working towards finishing my goals. I noticed in the last few days my thoughts constantly going to I just want to be done. I don’t see enough change, I don’t see enough progress, I want more.. This morning I had to really refocus. This is not about quick, this is not about short cuts, this is about losing a LOT of weight in a safe manner. This is about losing a LOT of weight in a way that my body lets me. I am not a victim of slow weight loss, I am at fault for allowing myself to get so big. It will take time for me to turn around the damage that I did to myself. Do I always have patience? No I have every reason to want it to hurry up. But in reality I am trapped in what my body will give me. Though—–I am learning patience and have been for 4 years. I just wish I didn’t have to be so patient sometimes. <Laughing>
I wanted to mention an email I received from Derek in Canada. He contacted me about what it will take to turn his life around. I emailed him back, and was encouraged by his response. He had a day off and felt so good about wanting to change he cleaned up his house. You know, weight loss is also about caring about yourself again. Caring about how you look, caring about your outward appearance and how people see you. The more I lose, the more I notice I want my clothes to fit better, I want my hair to look better, I want to show off the work I am doing. Derek, keep working on yourself. I know you can and will achieve your goals with time and patience!! Work on your own N.E.W.S.T.A.R.T.!
So–Am I shrinking? Is there a difference?? Am I doing it fast enough? Soon enough? Is it worth it? You be my judge.